Eis
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Posts: 189
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Post by Eis on Jul 9, 2021 15:18:49 GMT -8
The frosty Autumn, garbed in the comfortable and unassuming garb of a grey tank top and jeans, waits patiently in her living room. She's of course made her modest offering of a pot of coffee and water for tea. Humble as her home might be, she still insists on showing a little hospitality. Especially for a rather special guest. The accoutrements for the beverage of choice are laid out on the dining table, stationed directly between the door of her apartment and the small kitchen, with only two chairs. The walls are a neutral beige color, and there is very little furniture downstairs. A couch, a small cabinet with a television on it, a coffee table, and a book case make compose the entirety of her living room. The stairs lay to the opposite side from the living room, covered in slightly worn carpeting that matches most of the downstairs. Eis wasn't kidding when she'd described her home as 'barren of character'. The only things bordering on decorative are the wooden bookends of two children at play and a few paintings of Autumn scenery. Sitting on her couch, glancing at the door from time to time, Eis awaits her guest. She takes small sips of her tea, not wanting to finish it before he even shows up. The drink would give her something to do with her hands. And the warm, aromatic liquid would provide her with some small amount of comfort while she prepares to... what? Quite possibly make a fool of herself. If she shared anything with the Onyx Court, it would be her preference for privacy. She's loathe to give others information that might make her seem weak, helpless, or dependent. The thoughts swirling around her head now almost certainly fit that bill. But... Lucas is trustworthy. Or, at least, he certainly seems to be. If she could bare a little of her soul to anyone in the Freehold, it would be him. Unaware of herself, she realizes she's been staring off at nothing, in the direction of her front door, for a few minutes now. Her mug of tea held aloft in a trembling hand. This wouldn't do. Despite being willing to open herself up, she still would prefer not to outwardly show any weakness. For as long as she can. Lucas Chevalier
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Post by Lucas Chevalier on Jul 11, 2021 18:45:40 GMT -8
After finishing up his various errands and loose ends, the Fairest took a quick shower to clean himself up for his visit to Eis' place. He chose a simple, comfortable outfit for their visit, opting for a Navy v-neck shirt, gray jeans, and black training sneakers. Lucas paused for a moment, wondering if he should bring his satchel with him or not. The impression he got from the messages Eis sent him didn't give him the sense was wanting to work on anything research oriented. Then again, trying to gage someone through text was a tricky thing. Since there was no harm in bringing it with him, he slung it onto his shoulder, and headed out the door.
Around half-an-hour or less later, he showed up at the address Eis gave him. If there was a spot in the driveway for parking he would park his blue, convertible, 2008 Chrysler Sebring there. Otherwise, he found offstreet parking and put in his steering wheel lock. If there was one thing he had learned from his time in Detroit and Whitney, it was better to be safe than sorry and take the extra car security measures. Once that was all squared away, there would be a loud knock on Eis' door.
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Eis
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Posts: 189
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Post by Eis on Jul 14, 2021 18:43:17 GMT -8
Eis practically springs from her seat at the sound. He's arrived. The dozens of things she wants to ask him twirl about in her head. Which doesn't make for a cool, collected attitude. Eis pauses mid-step. Takes a long breath in, then a slow breath out. She has to appear in control of her emotions. The Snowskin eventually nods to herself, feeling confident enough to answer the door. She opens the door just enough to juxtapose herself over the view of the inside of her home.
"Lucas." she practically coos. It's about as close to the side she's shown him in public settings as she can muster. Playful in tone. "You've dressed the part, it seems. Or maybe I'm just used to seeing you all 'gussied up' for an event. But where are my manners? Do come in." With that, she slides back into the foyer and opens the door for him.
"Can I get you anything? Water? Tea? I have coffee, but it's admittedly nothing spectacular. I rarely drink it myself, and only really have it to entertain the occasional guest." Which is ridiculous, considering how rarely she even desires company. She frowns for half a second. "Maybe forget the coffee. I can't even remember how long ago it was that I bought it." Not something she even thought about when she'd hosted her last... guest. Are you that awful, Ellen? You suddenly care about the coffee because someone 'pretty' is in your home.
All the same, she gestures towards the table where everything she'd gathered waited. "Contrary to what you may have seen, I rarely drink. You'll have to excuse the lack of anything intoxicating." The stories that Lucas could tell on just what he's seen her do. Good Lord. Thankfully, he's in her rather small circle of trust, and she doubts he'd spread malicious rumors facts behind her back.
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Post by Lucas Chevalier on Jul 17, 2021 3:27:26 GMT -8
"Thank you." He chuckled, amused at the description she used for him in terms of how he dresses himself up. He took a quick look down at his clothing before returning his attention to the Snowskin while he stepped inside of her home.
"Tea sounds great, thank you. Honestly, something more chill with less bite beverage wise is the way to go. I don't drink much myself unless I'm socializing."
At most, he would buy a six pack that lased throughout the week or longer depending on how busy the week had been. The Onyx courtier followed her instructions and took a seat the table. A reassuring smile appeared on his face when she quickly clarified her drinking habits.
"The seasonal rite celebrations are a rare treat for all of us to really let loose, especially Ostara. And man, that party we all went to while figuring out the Ostara rites was something else. I don't think any of us would be alive if we drank like that with any regularity."
After he was done speaking, he relaxed in the chair while he waited on the tea and for Eis to dive into the reason for the meeting.
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Eis
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Posts: 189
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Post by Eis on Jul 18, 2021 16:31:12 GMT -8
"Of course." she says, moving in after he's seated to get him started. "How do you like your tea? Sugar? Honey? Milk?" It almost seems silly for her to fuss about, ready to serve his slightest whim. But it isn't a girlish sense of infatuation that drives her; it's anxiety over what's to come. She has to stay busy. Stall. Distract herself. She plops a tea bag in a mug and starts ppouring water while she waits for his 'order'.
Eis winces a bit, and tries to force a smile. "Agreed. We were practically living sacrifices to the whims and urges of Spring. A Season's worth of revelry in one night." She clears her throat, unnecessarily, and looks away. "As much as I'd enjoy just catching up, the reason I've asked you here is more serious. It's... very hard for me to talk about." She takes a slow breath. It does nothing to calm her nerves. She hasn't even realized she's still holding the kettle, and she's been squeezing the handle so hard her hand is shaking. Eis still hasn't turned her head to look at him again. It's painful for her to appear this weak... but she can't help it. She's almost never talked about this.
When she finally does speak, hiding her eyes from his even still, her voice is flat and distant. "I had a daughter. Once. Her name was Abigail. She was the only good thing to come from a failed marriage. And I used to be different. I laughed more. I didn't mind showing my feelings. I had-- a reason to be happy..." She only barely gets this much of her 'confession' out. She tries to swallow, but her throat is so tight it hurts. Eis doesn't sob, but tears are flowing - and freezing - down her cheeks. She feels like her entire world has been exposed. "My daughter died when her bus drove off the road on the way home from school. I'd... I'd... bought her pink frosted cupcakes." A single sob wrenches its way from her throat, and she covers her face in shame. The urge to excuse herself from the table is so very strong, but she can hardly bring herself to move.
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Post by Lucas Chevalier on Jul 20, 2021 20:28:17 GMT -8
"Milk and sugar, thank you."
The longer Lucas watched Eis the more he could tell that whatever the reason for their get together was, it was a serious one. He was tempted to spend more time studying her to get a sense of just how serious this was but with how on edge Eis already appeared, it felt invasive to do so. Vulnerability was something that was meant to be earned by trust rather than taking it from someone because of a ever-watchful eye.
He looked down at his hands, breaking his assessment of the Snowskin in the process. Whenever she arrives with the tea he thanks her for it and takes a sip from it.
When Eis finally opens up he can feel his heart sink. His hold on the tea cup tightens as he feels the urge to comfort the other Lost. During his time in the Onyx court he has heard many tales of woes, hearing about the loss of a child still broke his heart every time. It was rare but still more common than it ever should be. No parent should ever have to bury their child, especially when the child was still so young.
"Oh, Eis."
The heart wrenching sob caused his hold on the teacup to loosen and he reached over to place his hand over hers if she allows him to do so, so that he can give it a small, comforting squeeze.
"There aren't enough words to convey the kind of loss you've been through. I can't even begin to imagine the pain you're going through, I'm not sure if there's any pain that's like the pain of losing a child so young."
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Eis
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Posts: 189
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Post by Eis on Jul 21, 2021 2:25:10 GMT -8
Eis makes no effort to dissuade Lucas from his gesture. Her eyes seem fixed on some far away point through the table. But the contact between them is short lived, as she takes both hands to brush away the frozen droplets of tears from her face. They fall to the table and melt again.
“It broke me. My world went black… the very first time my weakness put me in danger. I was taken that very same day. After… however long it was on the other side, I came back resolved not to let it happen again. I had nothing left to lose. So I thought ‘why not start fresh?’. If I manage to keep everyone at arms reach, I’ll never have to feel that kind of loss again.”
She looks up at him. Face still contorted in pain, but offering a self-deprecating smile. “And I can’t even seem to do that right.”
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Post by Lucas Chevalier on Jul 22, 2021 20:29:56 GMT -8
The sympathetic presence that radiated from the Winter Fairest grew stronger as he listened to Eis. It hurt to hear her put herself down like that after she suffered such a tremendous lost. He honed in on the magic that surrounded his body, causing the fog from his mantle to roll out of his body and next to Eis. When he spoke again, his voice was gentle without any judgment attached to it.
"Eis, there's no right or wrong way to grieve the kind of loss you've been through. Our grief isn't linear. There are days that the last thing we want is to be alone because the weight of our despair feels like one more rock put on top of it will crush our spirits all together. There are other days when even the softest whisper from another human being causes our nerves to be fray. Most of us don't know what the hell we are doing when it comes to making sense of our time in Arcadia. We are trying our best and more often than not we get it wrong. But we still have to try and you're not alone in all of this.
If you need space, you get to have all the space in the world you need. If you need help, well, I'm glad you called me like you did today. I'll be there for you when you need someone to speak with."
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Eis
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Posts: 189
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Post by Eis on Jul 24, 2021 17:04:35 GMT -8
Was Lucas always this disarming? In the moment, she could hardly assume he wasn’t. She listens to him quietly. Her mask of pain slowly melting into something more peaceful. Thoughtful, perhaps. There’s certainly been times where she’s craved space. Even cultivated it. But she can admit to herself that there’s times she’s wanted someone to be there for her.
“I… I want trust and care again. And I’m truly grateful you’re here. But I don’t want to lose anyone else. I looked after Bella for a while… let her get closer than most. And it hurt to stop hearing from her.” She takes a long pause. The emotional breakdown she was experiencing is behind her, but nothing new is easy. She takes another deep breath. Exhales. This time it helps. “Just having you be here for me - even if you’d do it for anyone - puts me in danger of caring for you. I… imagine I already do.” She smiles sadly. “We’ve lost others recently. If I —- we. Lose you… I don’t know if I’ll recover.” Her voice still carries a sad tone. Different, now, than the grief she expressed before. It’s a sadness of longing.
All at once, she seems to remember herself. Remember why she’s here with Lucas. Cautiously, optimistically, she asks “How much do you know about what comes after death?”
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Post by Lucas Chevalier on Jul 26, 2021 4:10:03 GMT -8
Lucas listened to Eis' fears without judgment or commentary. He had learned over the years that sometimes the best thing anyone could do for someone who was grieving a deep loss was to be present with them and witness their grief.
When Eis directed the conversation towards the afterlife, he felt a small twinge in his heart. Between Eis sharing the loss of her daughter and asking him--a gravewight--about the afterlife, gave him a sense of the ultimate goal for their meeting.
"I know a few things, most of it centers around ghosts. I've spent enough time in Twilight to know that there are other manifestations of otherworldly, spiritual oriented forces out there. Is there something you want to ask about the afterlife?"
The Gravewight set his cup of tea down so that he could interlock his fingers together. His hands rested on the table remaining relatively still while he waited for Eis to answer his question.
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Post by Krakenbox on Jul 27, 2021 11:20:45 GMT -8
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Eis
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Posts: 189
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Post by Eis on Aug 2, 2021 16:28:16 GMT -8
If the frost-kissed, statue-like Fairest could ever appear flushed, it would be now. A deeper blue behind her cheeks than Lucas has probably seen before - drunken parties notwithstanding. Her excitement is building. Dear Lucas, a diamond among all the rabble of the Freehold, could be the key to her finding peace. She tries to calm herself. Stay in control. But controlled breathing can scarcely remedy her shameful enthusiasm.
"Do you... is it-- I mean..." This isn't like her. She's barely in control of the situation. But at this moment? She doesn't care. Let him see her in her weakness. He's the only one she can trust to hold it secret. "Can you reach out to those who've... left this life behind?"
Lucas. Come now, let her hear the words she's been burning to hear for so long...
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Post by Lucas Chevalier on Aug 4, 2021 23:38:19 GMT -8
Even when he had a sense the question was coming, it was never easy to be asked it. In many ways, Lucas didn't want the question to become an easy one for him. If it did then that meant that he was becoming numb to the human experience of losing a loved one. He didn't want to become burned out and apathetic towards the pain of others. From what he knew of Eis the best route to go was like a factual one.
He offered her a small, sympathetic smile.
"Yes but not in the way you're hoping for."
He paused to let his words sink in before he continued.
"From what I've gathered, whenever we die our life essence is turned into ephemeral essence. Ghosts, for example, are not the souls of our loved ones. They are echoes of trauma a person experiences when they die that manifest because of a combination of our life energy transforming into ephemeral energy. The trauma disrupts that process and the psychic residue creates the ghost. There are other beings in Twilight that are also made of ephemeral energy such as spirits although I don't have the same expertise with spirits as I do with ghosts.
What I have learned with ghosts is their strength is tied into the world of the living. Ghosts fade away in time as they are forgotten. Ghosts that are remembered become stronger. For example, if a loved one who passed has a favorite park, going to that park and reading their book legitimately makes them stronger. They are infused with more essence. It becomes easier for them to manifest into this frequency among other things.
And ghosts are just an echo of a person. Imagine the kind of strength we can give to loved whose souls have transformed into ephemeral energy."
The smile on his face turns into an encouraging one.
"Children have the purest souls. Their energy is going to the purest and the easiest to reach. I wish I could help you pass along a direct message to your daughter where you would get a response but I unfortunately can't. What I can do is encourage you to think about the kind of messages you want to send to your daughter and then translate them into some kind of physical activity in honor of your daughter. She'll feel those messages the same way a ghost would feel someone reading their favorite book at their favorite park in honor of them."
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Eis
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Posts: 189
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Post by Eis on Aug 9, 2021 17:42:41 GMT -8
In the depth of the pause Lucas gives her - following his immediate answer - Eis may have stopped breathing. She feels numb. Her ears are ringing. This was always going to be the answer. Finality.
That voice... her innermost fears. She wills it away, blinking, trying to focus on the rest of what Lucas has to say. She won't pretend she isn't crushed by the revelation. The best she can do it sit there. And listen. Willing herself to take comfort in Lucas' presence, if not the content of his words.
"I'd hoped for more..." she admits, after waiting some time to see if he'd had anything else to add. "I'm not ungrateful. But merely honoring my daughter? I don't... I don't see how that can be enough. I just wanted to see her again. One more time."
It takes her a moment for the gravity of her own words to sink in. Is that really the beginning and end of it? Is she really that selfish? Maybe she has been. Lucas had done his best to offer her a meaningful way of remembering Abby, and all Eis can think about is being denied the chance to see her again. In some... ethereal form she barely understood before and even now doesn't fully grasp. Academically, maybe. But her heart isn't willing to accept it.
She turns her eyes away again. It's all she can do to go through the motions of being thankful and accepting Lucas' solution. "What you suggest... I don't need a Gravewright's help in doing. Do I?" She shakes her head, damning her choice of words. "What I mean is; it's really on me to make this sort of dedication. There's no magic invoked to pass a message. It's just me choosing to take comfort in these actions. Do I have it right?"
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Post by Lucas Chevalier on Aug 13, 2021 23:39:49 GMT -8
Lucas thought his answer over. He didn't want to give Eis false hope and yet at the same time he didn't want her to lose hope because there was more than emotional feel good substance to what he was sharing with her.
"I'm not going to say that I understand because I don't understand the magnitude of your loss. However, I can understand to a degree of what you mean when you say you're disappointed because you were wanting to see your daughter one more time. I promise, that in our world, it's better this way. Rarely does anything good come from anyone trying to contact a ghostly form or anyone we know taking on some kind of ghostly form that kind manifest in front of us."
His words were gently as he worked on balancing his empathy with his honesty.
"Yes and no. Yes, you don't need a gravewight for what I'm suggesting. No, it's not merely taking comfort in honoring her memory. Think of it like us gathering glamour from others. When we help them experience something, it produces glamour for us, and it makes us stronger. While the person we harvest glamour from isn't aware that it's happening, we know that it is for a fact happening. The same is true for ephemeral beings who we make stronger through our acts to honor them. Just because we can't see it--much like the people we harvest from--that doesn't mean it's not happening. Think about what kind of message you would like to send your daughter and then do an act of service or a person rite of some kind that is based off of that message. Even if it brings you little comfort in the moment, there's a good chance it is going to bring comfort to your daughter."
He furrows his brows as his mind wraps around a more occult oriented explanation. His mind wanders to the wards and what they do to maintain them.
"In essence, when we do something in their memory, with that intent in our heart, it's like we are performing a rite and we offering up that emotional power to whoever the rite is dedicated to."
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