[Glimpse] Paradise Lost

Stillness. Tingling limbs from muscles forced into an inactivity that was no longer part of their nature. The soft ringing of the chime as a customer pushed open the door.

A breeze that carried with it the aromas of jasmine, green tea and rotting leaves. The background chatter of people only half perceived.

And in its midst - a war unknown.

Managing his anxiety was a balancing act on the good days and a sisyphean ordeal the rest of the time. The pursuit of perfection, as opposed to the pursuit of happiness, was a never-ending one, a drive to fix everything and everyone and keep them in that impossible state. The end goal was illusive, felt through intuition and ducking out of sight like a scared doe. Yuan had no idea how to reach it, he only knew for certain when he had fallen short.

The Playmate clasped his hands around the hot terracotta teapot that was sitting in front of him. The feeling of heat and ruggedness stopped him from spiraling, but the dull ache behind his eyes and the deep sense of wrongness wouldn't subside. He looked down on his flesh that had once held immortality and felt sadness and contempt at its present frailty. Life was nothing but a slow death now. A tear rolled down his cheek, shifting in hues like oil on water. He had tasted Xi Wang Mu's peaches before being cast down from the clouds.

Customers glanced at him, but he paid them no mind. The teapot grew cold between him palms, so he ordered another one. Maybe this was a test? Maybe, if he dutifully fulfilled his task and achieved the Vision, he would be allowed back? Filling a small, matching cup, he brought the liquid to his nose and breathed in deep. Yuan pushed the thought away. There was no going back, he had to make the most of what little time he had left; substitute happiness for perfection. The tea parlor reminded him of this. That new beginnings existed, even in a far away and hostile land. That serenity could be achieved, even if momentarily.

He paid for his tea, leaving a generous tip. What were earthly possessions compared to peace of mind? Wrapping his trench coat tightly around him for protection against the autumn wind, Yuan walked out into the city.

The war hadn't been won, but he had weathered the battle.