[Private] Afternoon Mimosas

Kai showed up reasonably quickly, black shorts and a white tank top with a cute picture of Sailor Venus pumping iron on the front of it. VENUS LIFTING TEAM. Adorable. She gave Firebringer a smile and a hello, then gave her phone number for the reservation so they could get seated. Initial offerings of menus and water got started, and she immediately put in an order for a grapefruit mimosa. She had specifically requested a quiet section, and while Vegas was never absolutely dead, weekdays in the early afternoon were not a super busy time at bars.

"You ever think that maybe it would be fun to retire and just do this all the time?"

There was a bit of a grin and a light-hearted tone in there, something nice to get started.

"Raise support for the world we're trying to build as a lobbyist." She shrugged, the answer coming to her mind easily. Solomon hadn't gotten to where he was lately alone. She'd helped rebuild his image and support his vision, smoothing the serrated edges into something that kids used to drinking mimosas could get behind. She lowered her voice. "Honestly, I think I get more done for our club with my words than my bow these days. But you know more about doing good with words than me -- how was your speaking gig? Did that go well?"

The Wyrd's tendrils connecting their minds fed her extremely concerning information that she filed away for a report. Bastille needed to know he had an operator who was in the tank, lest he send her on another mission.

Fuck. Whatever Firebringer had gone through had broken her badly, and while she wasn't a psychologist, there was enough information on the table to start parsing out what about the Elemental's condition was supernatural versus mundane. It felt like a complex case, the kind of thing that Dr. Wakefield would be needed for, even as Kai realized that she could do away with the magical piece through the repeated application of magic...

"Take your time, Dani. No rush. I figure I ought to ask, do you need anything, or just to hang out and shoot the shit?"

She didn't want to assume.

Firebringer has one perspective, but Kai determines this is not an issue related to the Elemental's connection to reality... Firebringer is feeling utterly defeated—despondent due to stacked traumatic experience without proper psychiatric support, or even peer support in this circumstance. Kai is unaware if Riley is emotionally available for the Elemental's continued exposure to death and destruction. From what was witnessed in the Hedge, having her peers fall around her to constant violence would be triggering the connection to her Durance, and have the mundane impact of developing PTSD. For an Elemental, her inability to control her environment would be spinning her up, and the void of emotion is understandable with her fatigue.

She would be looking for confirmation around her that she is powerless and having no control, as the feedback from that familiarity would allow her to anticipate her surroundings. Kai wasn't a doctor, but she knew basic concepts like the cycle of abuse and victims of extreme environments being vulnerable to falling back into those dynamics.

"Well, let's start with the mimosas first," she says, looking over as they finally arrive and for a moment she looks contented with the distraction. She settles the curvy glass around her fingers before taking the straw and bringing it to her lips for a small sip. It's light and zingy, the opposite of how she feels and to a degree, it is refreshing. 

"You know, I hadn't asked yet. How have you been doing? Have you gotten up to anything lately?" Something to take the conversation off of herself for a little bit, even if it is fleeting. Plus, Kai just seems so level. She wonders how the Polychromatic does it. How does she manage to relax after such traumatic situations? Was she used to them or did they just not hit her the same way? 

She'd like to think it isn't weakness on her own part, but maybe it is. Another thing she'll need to consider talking to Mitch about. 

"There has been an influx, hasn't there?" Bunch of Springs joined Summer, right? It felt like everyone was finding their place in Summer, but why can't she? It's frustrating. Infuriating even. 

"I'm glad it is all working out for you though, even though it's been super busy." She wishes she could be super busy. Wished she had the energy for it. It's like being in a state of limbo where you want to go out, but you are bed ridden and you may never get up. And at the same time, maybe you don't want to.

Her mind keeps nagging at her then, ask about something that has been bothering her. And given how strong Kai has grown lately, it seems pertinent to ask, "Kai, how do you experience your anger?"

Maybe it was too personal a question, but lately, she just wanted to know how others felt their connections. Maybe she's just not looking in the right place. Or maybe it is because she is depressed and things will make sense when she gets better. She doesn't know. Does it matter though? Why not seek to know now?

Watching Kai change colors was both fascinating and terrifying. That blood red said before before she spoke gave a kind of mood lighting for what was to come. And the way the Polychromatic speaks is so intense that it is impossible to focus on anything aside from her words. She knows herself so well that she can put these thoughts into words. Lack of trust in people. People aren't fundamentally good. The bit about Riley stings a little, if only because she knows now what happened. 

Something about the way Kai talks about Fall and Bonnie though does put a thought into her head: It wasn't just her fault, but I'm pissed off enough with her that it feels like it should be. She should be the one to blame. And yet all I do is blame myself... It was strange, and perhaps it was just being around Kai, but she felt more and more like these are things she needs to fix. She wants to fix them, but how and finding the energy to is the problem. Something to discuss with Mitch?

"Your logic there is more than sound." She can't help but remark. But do I believe it to be true? No. She believes people are fundamentally good, are always inclined toward good, even though they so often get tempted and give in to poor desires. It's a reason she could see why Spring is both good and bad for the Freehold. They press upon people to follow their dreams, but they can also steer the course of them. It seems like that could be evil. In a sense, it depends on the user. Archie was using something for private whims, right? But then there is a way to steer desires for the better, away from poor temptations and toward what their actual dreams are. Like, steering drug addicts from their vice and toward their more base-line dreams. Right?

"Thank you for sharing. It's more than insightful," It helps her try to view it all in a different light. "I don't know that I can believe that people aren't fundamentally good. They hesitate, they question their own evils and sins, whether they understand the hypocrisy of some of their own beliefs or not. It doesn't make anything you've said any less true though when you think about it." 

But incentive and the way Kai has expressed that word makes her wonder the extent to which Kai believes in incentive. 

What is mine? Maybe some of it is self-loathing, but there has to be more to it.

If she had to be honest with herself, perhaps it is the naiveté of people. Because people are fundamentally good, it is easy for so many of them to be taken advantage of or to find themselves in situations where if they'd only considered the damage it could cause themselves... maybe that's why she dislikes herself so much, because it is exactly what she does and what she did. She may have been a street rat, a fighter, but it doesn't change her base actions. Self-defense is how she fights now, even if it wasn't who she had to be back then. She always gives chances, over and over, she stays when she shouldn't, she always gives people the benefit of the doubt. Even with Riley, she's given them patience even though there is that screaming distrust in the back of her mind.