[Downtime, Touch Stone] Pâro

pâro

n. the feeling that no matter what you do is always somehow wrong—

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" I thought I could make it happen. Like really pull it off."

Riley said, staring out across the city, letting their hand swirl the glass of cheap wine in small circles.

Claire sat in the opposite chair, a slight frown on her face.

"Hey, you tried; you put in the effort. But, unfortunately, sometimes things just don't fall into place."

Ivory's idea had rooted itself in Riley's mind. It was perfect. A burlesque fundraiser, raising money for the LGBTQ+ community during Pride. Riley could give back to the community, handle Archies challenge, and even verdant philosophy to its fullest.
What is it they say? Dress for the job you want, not the one you have.

The venue was easy; Dani and Linden both worked at queer bars that were more than welcoming to such an event. The Darkling, however, had failed to consider how much their current reputation would impact their efforts.

Trying to find performers proved harder than Riley had wanted. Members of the troupe were still reluctant, and after Beltane, more were worried to sign themself up in an event put on by Sorsa. Many liked the idea and even wanted to partake. Still, Riley saw the hesitation in their eyes and in their half-hearted commitments and maybes. No one wanted this to backfire on their own reputation.

To make matters worse, Riley had not the faintest idea of how to approach foundations and Nonprofits. Trying to get in the door and set up meetings for a fundraiser was nearly impossible. Those who did listen wanted proof it was going to happen, a list of names and performers. It felt like a catch 22; performers wanted the legitimacy of a foundation, the foundations wanted the proof of performers.

Riley should have asked for help; they know that now, Ivory had made it clear that she didn't want to cause problems with Archie; Archie had challenged Riley to turn the money they had into something without him.
In truth, those were just excuses; the Bright one had been too proud. But, they felt they had something to prove, that they could be more than a pretty face, more than a flirt or the life of the party. That they were more than what the rumors whispered behind their back suggested. They wanted to do this themself, to show they could.

They failed.

"Hey, look at me," Claire said softly, noticing that familiar look in her sibling's eyes.
Riley glanced over, the weight of their thoughts heavy on their face.

"Failing is the first step. Don't you remember what you were like when you started dancing? You got so angry and would throw fits when it went wrong. You loved it but wanted to quit. But look at you now."

Riley nods slowly, a small smile tugging on the edge of their mouth. They could almost hear the overdramatic teen.

"You failed, but you learned something. And you might fail again, but you just keep tryin' Yeah?"

"Yeah"

"Good, now pour me some more wine. "

Riley picked up the bottle of ten-dollar wine, pouring the last of it into Claire's cup.

"Happy birthday Riley"

"Thanks"

For a moment, the darkling forgot their worries. The troubles would be there tomorrow.