[Glimpse, Downtime] Staying awake.

When was the last time Lucas felt like living? If he thought about it hard enough, his mind would go back to when he was 14 or so. The start of high school had been filled with so much potential. Between his good looks, gentle demeanor, way with words, and contagious laughter, he didn't want for friends. No one even blinked an eye when he came out to them as being pansexual at the age of 16. His friends told him the only thing they really cared about was that he continued to support the Maple Leafs. If he decided to support the Bruins, well, that would be unforgiveable.

It felt good to laugh in such a carefree way. He missed laughing like that.

Somewhere along the way his brain stopped working the way that it was meant to. It was subtle at first. He found himself losing interest here and there. He didn't have the energy to keep up with his friends, sports, and school work. He figured it was because he had taken on too many responsibilities so he needed to slow down and then eventually he would feel like himself. Except no matter how much he slept, exercised, ate right, scrolled through memes, went to parties...he couldn't engage himself like he did before. Once while scrolling through tumblr, he came across a post about imposter syndrome and it rang true to him. Even though he had everything in theory could want and he should be having the time of his life with his friends, he didn't feel like he fit in.

Slowly but surely, then all at once, he fell asleep and began "sleepwalking" through his life.

Whenever he woke up from his sleepwalking, he was always energized. He felt rested, his brain had time to boot back up, and the Wyrd energy that shaped him into a Fairest pushed him towards getting involved in everything and anything he was capable of. However, the energy always ran out after a couple of years, some times less, on the rare occasion more, and he would resume sleepwalking. Everything took on a foggy quality to it when he entered that state of mind. There were nights when he couldn't even find the energy to sleep walk. All he wanted to do was sleep the entire day away because sleep was the only place he could escape the heavy weight that constantly pushed down on his heart.

Then Ostara came round and he had a brief flicker of what it was like to enjoy being alive again. There were lots of old faces and new faces that wanted to connect with him. There were other Lost he wanted to connect with too. He could see the potential in front of him to build real, meaningful relationships. And yet,  when he reached for them, he could never quite grasp onto them fully. It took him awhile to figure out why that was but he was finally gaining real insight into the root cause.

After that fateful night that he was taken, with what happened an hour or so before he was stolen away to Arcadia, he had given up on himself. He stopped caring about his own wellbeing and investing in his own self-worth. If he wanted to connect with others...he needed to start investing in himself first. Otherwise, he would lose momentum again and sabotage his own ambitions by telling himself no one would even notice if he stopped reaching out to them or that he was just getting in their way and they were better off without his company.

It was time to give a damn about himself and stay awake.




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Sedna had been generous with the information she gave him. If he was willing to capitalize on it, he could start to change how his fellow courtiers viewed him. He knew there were several who thought he was fragile. He didn't want to be fragile any more or be seen as being fragile. If he was going to bring about change, he needed to tap back into the work ethic he had in Detroit. It was time to become a self-made man once more.

All throughout April, Lucas hit up various wanted ads for models to help with club promotions, new venue openings, small modeling events, and hotel casino giveaways. The gigs weren't glamorous and the money was so-so, but they did come with impressive swag-bags. Every now and then, he impressed a few wealthy individuals who were generous with their tips. Between the tips, his side jobs, and actually showing up consistency at work, he was able to put away money into his savings and get his anti-depressants refill.

As a treat to himself for keeping up with his daily routines and taking time each day to invest in self-care, he bought a stylish new outfit.  Truth be told, it felt good to be able to buy it with his own money rather than have someone else gift it to him or have to ask for a handout.  Granted, he certainly wasn't going to turn down any goodies that were freely sent his way with minimal strings attached.



With a suit that helped him feel like a million bucks, money in his pocket to spare, and he had actually stayed on top of his anti-depressants long enough for the effects to kick in, he was ready for his first proper foray into Las Vegas's socialite scene. He even had his new beta fish roommate, Mr.Bubbles, cheering him on from the sidelines at home.

The best place to meet the kind of folks he was interested in talking to was at either theater performance after parties or VIP club events at some of the more exclusive hotels he had worked at. His main interest was in rubbing elbows with Spring Courtiers to see if he could pick up any gossip that tied into the information Sedna shared with him or anything related to Noir's operations. However, if he came cross a courtier of interest from any court, he would work his way into their social bubble as well.

To help loosen lips whenever he was around, he would pull out all the stops with his sympathetic presence at the theater after parties. As one of the few Winter courtiers who attended such events, he tapped into those feelings of sorrows of his to inspire the aspiring artists, patron of the arts, and anyone else who found themselves drawn into soulful stories filled with sorrow and resiliency. This is where he kept his senses open to see what kind of gossip flowed from one Lost to another while they reflected on their own stories and wanted the opportunity to be a story teller either to the group or in private. 

At the exclusive VIP parties hosted in either luxury hotels or private manors,  Lucas spread his social influence through his presence in a similar yet different way, naturally allowing the energy flowing from him to shift the mood of his conversations into more private, intimate moments.  He knew how exhausting it had to be for the others to always feel like they had to be "on" during these events and in their daily social lives. He could be their comforting reprieve away from  all of the jarring noises and harsh lights. He never pushed anyone to follow him. Instead, he would wander away to private, reclusive spots and wait to see who came looking for him. 

Shh, he would coo gently to them when they came looking for him and tried to come up with excuses for why they followed him. I understand. It's not fair, is it? For you to hurt so much when you've worked so hard. Come rest beneath my arms for awhile. There's nothing to be ashamed of while we are here, hidden away from the world. Let yourself have tonight to mourn and then tomorrow you can go back to celebrating the dawn with the smile on your face that everyone expects of you.

After he spoke in soothing, comforting tones, he would grow quiet and focus on baring witness to whatever grief they shared with him. No matter how uncomfortable or awkward their stories were, he stayed present in the moment, creating space for their emotions to flow and fill their small sanctuary up with sorrow.  Sometimes what people needed more than anything was someone who was willing to be simply present with them and allow them to feel whatever it was they needed to feel without judgment or trying to find the right words to fix their problems.

Extended rolls for glimpse: Socializing in the Vegas Lost Socialite scene trying to make a positive impression among their ranks and  find out useful information to barter with the Magpie: Presence +socialize=5. 1 roll will be dedicated to a politics roll to determine who is worth interacting with

Bonus modifiers to rolls: SL + Designer Suit that matches the current "In season" look +4 .total roll=9
Politics roll: Lucas rolled 6 dice and got 2 successes

Socialize roll 1:  Lucas rolled 9 dice and got 4 successes.

Socialize roll 2: Lucas rolled 9 dice and got 4 successes. 10(9) 7 8 3 4 1 5 2 9

Socialize roll 3:  Lucas rolled 9 dice and got 6 successes. 10(6) 10(8) 10(1) 4 4 6 5 10(10)(1) 3



Socialize roll 4: Lucas rolled 9 dice and got 2 successes. 2 8 2 1 10(1) 7 1 3 7


16 socialize successes including one exceptional roll.