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Post by Deleted on Apr 13, 2021 19:22:51 GMT -8
The scene was nothing out of the ordinary. The house seemed fine. The door was closed. Linden and Riley had spares. When the Ogre would enter the lights would be dimmed. Archie wouldn’t be hard to find. Through the large window in the living area he could be seen sitting at the edge of the pool. A simple white t-shirt. Baggy pajama pants. Modest slippers. Tousled hair. Crouched over in a chair, staring into the rippling water. The gentlest of hums from the filter being heard. His face buried in his hands until he heard Linden approach. “I’m sorry. I didn’t know who to call. I just…”
Breath caught. “Just…”
Hooked again. “I don’t want to die.”
Linden |
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Linden
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Post by Linden on Apr 13, 2021 19:39:24 GMT -8
A closed door, a house with friendly lights still lit; none of it comforted Linden as they made their way through Archie's home, looking for a sign. They didn't fully register holding their breath until they saw him by the pool and the fist of tension in their chest released. Stepping onto the patio they didn't bother shutting the sliding door behind them, crossing straight to Archie instead.
"Hey, man, hey-" Their fingers slid into his hair, cradling his head against their belly. After a moment they bent double, pressing a kiss to the crown of his curly hair, and let him go. The Ogre settled onto the ground beside him, elbow propped on his chair as they gazed up toward his face. "Did someone threaten you?"
Their tone was cautious, sympathetic, but a curl of energy had settled in their limbs, ready to spring if he gave them someone to go after.
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Post by Deleted on Apr 13, 2021 20:32:15 GMT -8
2:58 AM
His body felt like a shock was coursing through it. Practically paralyzing him. Touch. Concern. Worry. Reassurance. It was foreign. It seized his chest. Had he even expected Linden to show up? He knew they would. But did he deserve it? Was he not alone?
“No”
Answer the question
“I mean yes but…”
It’s Linden
“It was a while ago.”
It’s Linden
“It was my fault.”
Explain
“There was a gun.”
Everything.
“To my head.”
Then what.
“People were confused.”
Then what
“Got shot. In my hand. Foot too.”
Winter Lessons.
“I wanted to help.”
But.
“I pushed too far."
Because?
“I thought I was doing something right.”
And.
“I can still feel it.”
And.
“I'm scared."
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Linden
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Post by Linden on Apr 14, 2021 9:12:16 GMT -8
"You got shot? Archie, wh-" when, who? Why am I only hearing about this now? Linden bit back their questions, forcing themself to be patient and let him finish despite the buzz of alarm and anger gathering in their chest. With careful slowness they took off their shoes and slipped their feet into the water. Maybe it would cool their instincts a little.
His last words hung on the air for a moment before Linden could figure out what they wanted to say. Slippers hid his feet but now that they knew to look it wasn't hard to spot the scarring on his hand. It was impossible to prioritize what they wanted to know first so they just took the plunge.
"What are you scared of?"
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Post by Deleted on Apr 14, 2021 11:16:21 GMT -8
3:00 AM
“Is this it”
A simple answer to a complicated question.
“I was a hair away from being gone. A fleeting memory.”
His right hand found his motley member’s, squeezing it tightly. He needed the reassurance that this wasn’t a dream. That he wasn’t alone.
“I don’t sleep well. I can’t rest. It feels like every shadow of the abyss is staring back. I feel small.”
There was a pause for a deep, broken breath.
“Am I cut out for this?”
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Linden
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Post by Linden on Apr 14, 2021 12:42:08 GMT -8
Linden clasped Archie's hand fiercely between their own and didn't lessen their grip. This wasn't a conversation they were equipped to have- Riley would know what to say, Riley knew how to talk to people. Comfort, persuade, twist around their fingers; Linden mostly just growled at people to stop doing shit and let their fists talk when they ran out of words. Thoughts about mortality were like thorns under the Ogre's skin, grown over or in too deep to address without making even more of a mess.
It was agonizing to imagine Archie going through what he described, the restless fear and worry.
"Cut out for what?"
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Post by Deleted on Apr 15, 2021 20:09:08 GMT -8
3:01 AM
“This Lost stuff...I was a...a halfway decent hack when I was just an awkward joke of a person. Now? Now? I am just some big mouthed joke who can’t - can’t do any of it right. I don’t want to wake up and go back to being Lost. I’m a punchline.”
His breaths were short, sharp, and fleeting. He didn’t seem to be holding back. The wall the Fairest usually wore was now gone - a product of growing to trust the Ogre, be it for better or in this case worse. Not that that wasn’t weighing on him. He was ruining Linden’s night, and probably tomorrow as well.
“I’m sorry for dragging you here...so I could snivel…”
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Linden
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Post by Linden on Apr 15, 2021 21:37:50 GMT -8
"Don't apologize," Linden responded brusquely. "And I'm-" sorry, they almost said, but caught themself just in time. The Ogre let out a quiet sigh and tried again. "D'you mind if I talk for a minute? I'm not trying to cut you off."
With Archie's blessing, they collected their thoughts and made an effort to organize them. "I... have a hard time, sometimes, reconciling who I know I am, with how my- experiences, have shaped me. That's not unique, but what I want to get at is, that I have sort of a lot of practice. I've known who and what I am for most of my life and it's been a struggle to accept it, fight for it, love it- let other people love it. And a huge part of that was realizing I wasn't-"
They paused for a moment, watching their own feet in the water. "Some things really will kill you if you don't learn how to live with them. What we are, definitely. I'm still so angry, Archie... I knew who I was, I worked so hard for it, and suddenly I don't even recognize myself again. Who is this and how is it me? I hate thinking about it."
"But, if we can't change it we gotta deal with it." Linden's grip on his hand squeezed and they turned slightly to look at his face. "I'm not trying to be preachy, I just... this is part of what the motley's for, yeah? Make each other's lives more bearable, it's absolute shit to do this alone. Which," they added, "Is why I'm going to need you to keep waking up. It sounds like maybe you fucked up, but you're not a joke."
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Post by Deleted on Apr 18, 2021 20:56:50 GMT -8
3:05 AM
Archie wasn’t in the pool, but he felt like he was drowning. Trapped beneath the water. Everything was failing. Everywhere. There were enemies around every corner. No one understood. Everyone made a scene. There were ways to fix any of these problems. There were ways to address things. The worst just kept coming out. The pursuit of what was written wasn’t the answer he thought it was. This was drilled into his head.
He was drowning.
Linden's hand was there though. Squeezing his own. Doing what they could to pull him from the depths. He knew if his friend had the chance those same hands would go down swinging. He knew Riley was worried if he could handle the world he was sniffing the edges of.
But that was what a Motley was for.
“Linden…”
His voice was soft. Tired.
“Thank you.”
The words may not be understood - but they could be felt. His tense shoulders fell some as he let the cool night air fill his lungs.
There was only drowning, or swimming in this case wasn’t it? He could hold onto their hand, and accept this as a sign that there was something worth carrying on for. That he wasn’t alone and had to do what he had to do for himself and for his friends. Not clients. Not partners. His actual friends. Friends who cared for him - for who he was.
“Do you...Want to stay the night? We could watch a movie or something…”
He ,more than anything, wanted for them to say yes...As much as this was a wake up call for him, he still was in shock - not wanting to be left alone with himself.
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Linden
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Post by Linden on Apr 19, 2021 17:04:20 GMT -8
They hung on his words, even the ones they didn't understand. Archie knew they didn't speak Yiddish, so while they wanted to ask what the words had meant they imagined he'd said it more for his benefit than theirs. They could always ask later, when things weren't so fresh. Right now the Ogre just couldn't read him, couldn't tell if this was good or if they'd fucked up and cut the conversation short. But, at the very least, he wasn't telling them to leave. That had to be something.
"Hell yeah," they agreed, the gentlest hell yeah. "I'm feeling a really bad sci-fi— something with a lot of dramatic science, maybe a meteor, handfula aliens? We can channel surf. And, uh, if you ever want to tell me what happened..." Rising to their feet, they squeezed Archie's hand and then let it go, gripping his shoulder instead. They wanted to pick him up, carry him inside, but he wasn't helpless and they shouldn't treat him as such.
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