Post by Rowan on Apr 6, 2021 17:11:05 GMT -8
"-Mom, can I have seconds?
-Of course, dear."
Dad was at work. He often had to take the graveyard shifts at the parking lot for the night bonus to make ends meet. Between his income and Mom's waitress tips, the family had managed to scrape by most of the time. That wasn't to say that they lived comfortably, however. The house was in a sorry state - shoddy roof, in dire need of a fresh coat of paint, bare. The lights were off in every room except the kitchen, a habit picked up to save on the power bill.
Perched on a tree across from the lit window, Rowan was looking back through time to everything he had lost. His body had instinctively wrapped shadows around itself, the muscles remembering things the mind had long forgotten. Just like they had lead him here.
Judging by the food on the table, it had been a good week at the diner. They had bread, Mountain Dew and actual meat, instead of a can of Spam. It was difficult to watch, but he couldn't pull his eyes away. Seeing his mother, how she doted with it. How it seemed to return it in kind. There was a spark of affection in its eyes when it looked at her, something Rowan had seldom managed to feel himself. Was it pretend? From this distance, Rowan couldn't tell. Despite the meagre life conditions, there was love in that house and it hurt. It hurt because there was nothing he could do to get it back: it wasn't like he looked the part of a fifteen year-old anymore.
But mostly, he couldn't bring himself to put out that spark, to make his mother cry.
Again.
"-You always do this to me!
-And what would that be, young man? Not give in to your every whim?
-But all my friends are singing up for band!
-We don't have the m..
-The money. We never fucking do!
-Zachary Holder! Don't make me go get he soap!
-I HATE YOU! I FUCKING HATE THIS FAMILY!"
Bitter words that he had meant at the time. He remembered running out into the night, his mother trying to catch up to him. But Zach knew which planks from the fence were loose and he squeezed right through. All he heard was his mother calling out his name as he ran into the darkness. He had been just a kid, desperate to fit in and be like everyone else. The nail that stood out always got hammered in. And he had always stood out - empty lunch box, second hand clothes, no after school activities. His family simply couldn't afford these things, their resources already stretched thing as they were. He had been just a kid, he didn't understand these things. Zach never got the chance to apologize. As he rant through the fence and into the night, They found him and spirited him away. Years went by, probably, he couldn't remember exactly. By the time he got back, it was too late.
"-Sir, are going to try and kill me? I'll scream."
The words pulled Rowan out of his mind. It was looking at him, that thing that had taken his life. He hadn't noticed it getting closer.
"-Did you ever apologize?
-She cried so much and apologized enough that it didn't matter.
-I wish I could have apologized.
-Are you going to try to kill me?"
Try. As if there was a possibility of him failing. It looked at him with dead eyes. No, not dead - absent. The were two holes where eyeballs should have been. The Mask simply made them look like dead fish eyes. So there really wasn't any love from it. He wanted to shove iron rods into these empty sockets. He didn't.
"-No. That would make her cry again.
-I think you should leave. Don't come back.
-Can't promise that. She's my mom too.
-Not anymore. Not since you told her you hated her."
He climbed down from the tree and meant his doppelganger at ground level. The night trailed behind him like a tattered cloak. He raised his hand, reaching out to it to snap-
"-Zach! Who are you talking to?
-Just someone who got Lost, mom."
He stopped.
"-Thanks, kid. Night, ma'am."
He had left before either one of them saw the tears running down his face. 'Not since you told her you hated her.'
I'm sorry. I'm so sorry.
I didn't mean it. I didn't mean any of it.
I love you mom. I love you much and you will never know.
It hurts. I'm so alone and you're not there.
I'm so, so sorry.
He could never tell her that. Just one of the many, many things the Others stole from him.