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Post by Rowan on Jul 6, 2021 14:42:32 GMT -8
After yet another elbow to the small of his back, Rowan decided he had had enough. He moved through the crowd, gesturing to Kai Rose and Ivory to follow him. People slightly part in front of him, some with a slight shiver, others turning their heads as if to catch someone.
He managed to find a quieter spot in the Valley, where a conversation might be had.
"Yeah, swore to Sir Icarus. Wanted to understand Spring a little better, give It a second chance." He glanced to Ivory. She had given him a second chance after all.
"Been off the grid otherwise. Had to sort some things in there." He gesture to his head with his hand. "I want to be better. Imbolc was a low point."
Kai, or rather her own Mantle, made him feel self-conscious about it. It wasn't the same effect his Knight had on him, but it made him anxious nonetheless. Mixed with the Dragon's, Rowan ended up expecting the other shoe to drop. "It would seem I'm not the only one who's grown closer to their Season. Congrats Ivory."
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Ivory
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Pres 4 (Regal) - SL 1 (Noble) Fairest Hunterheart
Posts: 588
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Post by Ivory on Jul 6, 2021 15:14:02 GMT -8
Even separated from the mass, the Pale Dragon seemed gleeful. The day was young, but she had already made a positive impression on the assembled - and the fact her absent-minded patron recalled her perfectly proved to be something of a boost. Kai's own mantle only proved to swell Ivory's contentedness, even as it whispered the need to solidify her place. The expanse of Rowan's mantle caused the golden gaze to avert elsewhere, belying the predatory instinct of the Fairest as it sought to find a face to half-seen shapes. In time, she came to understand what was happening once they found a place to plant themselves and refocused her attention.
The words of the Snowskin earned a nod from the dragon as Rowan spoke of a want to improve.
"It is a lesson we all learn in time, I think," she offered, "And I appreciate your desire to know my season better. I'll admit in my own failings in understanding Autumn and Winter, but our time here in Las Vegas has been markedly brief when compared to others. We have time to learn. More importantly, your Mantle is evidence of your will to do so."
At once a statement and a light encouragement, the Pale Dragon sought to show she understood what Rowan was feeling.
"Congratulations on your growth and your vassalage, Rowan," she said, "I am sure both were well earned. I attained vassalage under the Knight of Rains since we last spoke. It's taken a weight from my shoulders, though I am doing what I must to ensure I can assist his endeavors when called upon."
With Rowan's compliment, the dim halo that was the centerpiece of Ivory's mantle brightened by a few stops as she grinned. Then golden eyes fell to Kai.
"It seems we all have," she offered, smiling to Kai to complete the recognition of each Lost's risen power, "It wasn't so long ago that our lives were very different, no?"
It felt good to offer a moment to reminisce. The three of them, for all their differences, had been through quite a lot. The blessing of Seasons did not come easily or, often, kindly. They had earned a moment to take stock.
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Post by Rowan on Jul 9, 2021 12:21:14 GMT -8
It all felt superficial. Superficial and meaningless. Victory over the Enemy? Rowan wanted to laugh. 'No one ever tells you what to do when the Enemy wins,' he thought.
He was sure Ivory didn't mean anything by it, that it was a reflection of their growth, but it stung. He simply nodded, not wanting to break down in the middle of the crowd; people thought he was crazy enough as it was. No one can go at it alone, no matter how hard they struggle. If it hadn't been for Agrippa...
His expression never changed, but tears rolled down his cheeks and froze there. Rowan didn't seem to notice.
"Am I interrupting something?" he asked as he looked between the Fairest and the Wizened. Those two had grown closer, only emphasizing how left out Rowan felt.
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Post by Kai Rose on Jul 9, 2021 14:00:20 GMT -8
"Different, for sure. But also... I don't know. Less innocent."
So much had happened, with incredible amounts of complexity and infighting that had not been present when she had first arrived. Glancing about, she saw so many new faces in Summer, so many new vassals to the Knight of Scales, so many people hurting and scared and raging for action.
Rowan's question brought a kindly smile to her face, and when she looked to the Darkling and saw the tears pooling and rolling, the Polychromatic did something that months ago she never thought she would have.
"Not at all. You're welcome here. In fact, Rowan... can I give you a hug, man?"
He really, really looked like he needed one.
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Ivory
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Pres 4 (Regal) - SL 1 (Noble) Fairest Hunterheart
Posts: 588
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Post by Ivory on Jul 9, 2021 19:01:04 GMT -8
Ivory's smile turned soft, the golden eyes alight with a sense of concern as she witnessed Rowan's frozen tears. Rowan often made a show of a standoffish demeanor, hiding emotions behind an icy curtain. It was a method Ivory knew well.
That something had broken through enough to force tears from the Darkling meant something was wrong. Kai's own response was a surprise, successfully stalling Ivory's own want to offer Rowan an embrace. To be asked twice would be awkward.
"You are welcome here, Rowan," she offered, repeating the Polychromatic's words, "You are a friend."
The words rang softly from Ivory's throat, lowering a touch to offer the Darkling some privacy, but Ivory's look was plain. She was worried.
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Post by Rowan on Jul 9, 2021 21:09:38 GMT -8
"I'm good," he told Kai. It came out harsher than what he had intended. 'They can't know unless you tell them.'
"I can't stand people touching me right now. Makes me feel like the ghosts are clawing at me again." He scraped the tiny specs of ice from his face and flung them away with a finger. "But thanks for the offer. Really." He kept quiet for a while, ordering his thoughts. He didn't want to sour the mood by talking about what happened in Twilight. Frankly, he wasn't ready to talk about anyway.
"I could use some of those. Friends, that is. Mitch tells me I need a support network, keep a balance between the normal stuff and the Wyrd stuff. But I thinks I've messed up pretty much every friendship I've had since coming back. That has to be a record, right?"
"I'm bringing down the mood. Right. Urgh." He passed his hands over his face in exasperation. "Can we talk about something else? I'm not sandbagging, I just- I can't find the words right now, so it's going to come out all wrong."
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Post by Kai Rose on Jul 10, 2021 20:36:33 GMT -8
Kai didn't press on the question of the hug, merely giving an understanding nod. Whatever Rowan had gone through was surely traumatic, and Rose knew better than to press at an event like this. It was the kind of thing a therapist would probably be really helpful for -- and it sounded like Rowan had actually gotten in contact with the Blackbirds. That was good. They might have a shot at keeping them on the rails.
"You haven't messed it up with me, dude. I roll with Solomon. If a bit of snark deterred me..." She winked. "You're all good, man. Congratulations on getting hooked in with Carr. He's a good guy, for sure." She gestured to the effigies. "You even have a huge win to present to Summer. Never forget: we faced down the War Machine and made it out alive, with all we gained from that. Talk about getting the job done, eh?" She grinned, trying to bring the mood up. "Yo, Rowan. Do you like horses?"
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Ivory
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Pres 4 (Regal) - SL 1 (Noble) Fairest Hunterheart
Posts: 588
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Post by Ivory on Jul 10, 2021 21:06:11 GMT -8
Ivory offers the Darkling a small smile at his words, respecting his space and listening as he offered her and Kai words.
The offer of such a network has always been there.
The thought rang in the Pale Dragon's mind, but she declined to allow it to travel to her lips for fear of being too blunt.
"I am no stranger to tensions, Rowan. You need only look at the aspects of my relationship with a certain Chatelaine to know that. Despite my lack of regret, I'll admit I had no small part in causing that relationship to falter," she offered, grant a rare self-deprecating comment, "That doesn't mean we stop when we fail. Given our tribulations, I agree, the balance is needed. Even crucial."
Despite Ivory's growing power in Spring and the Wyrd, she remained heavily invested with mundane ties. It was a focus that was unlikely to shift any time soon.
"Have you considered community work?" she offered, "I can tap Giving for Las Vegas to see if there is anything you can help with if you like."
Even if it was just helping people move or something more physical the chance existed for Rowan to do some good. And in doing good came feeling good.
Kai's question earns a far more bright disposition from the dragon as Ivory considers what she has in mind. Did she mean to introduce the Darkling to the stables? Perhaps starting Rowan establish earnest ties with an animal would be better. Animals often had an honesty that people lacked.
"Even better," she said, her head moving to look to Rowan as she awaited his response.
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Post by Rowan on Jul 13, 2021 9:17:38 GMT -8
He simply nodded to Kai; Rowan didn't trust his voice not to break at that moment. Tilting his head slightly to the left, the Darkling considered the question.
"Horses? I've never been close to one, so I don't know." He had no idea what the Polychromatic was getting at. Wasn't the question more if horses would like him?
At the mention of Archie, the Darkling's body language shifted a little as he became carefully guarded. Sure, the Wyrd said the were Good Neighbours, but that didn't mean Rowan had to like the guy. Or his methods. "Thanks Ivory. Mitch suggested that already and set me up with one of the retirement homes."
"Why do I have the feeling like I'm on the receiving end of some inside joke?" Ivory and Kai seemed to be have an unspoken understanding and the lack of information made him nervous.
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Post by Kai Rose on Jul 13, 2021 10:07:34 GMT -8
"Naw, dude. Nothing like that. We opened up a rec center. Apollo Athletics. You can do all sorts of cool stuff, like obstacle courses, archery, shooting, horseback riding and the like." She gestured at the Darkling. "Thought I'd invite you to come check it out and have some fun." She lowered her tone to a stage whisper and grinned, like she was welcoming Rowan to a secret. "Even Solomon likes the horses. I think that proves it's a good time."
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Ivory
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Pres 4 (Regal) - SL 1 (Noble) Fairest Hunterheart
Posts: 588
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Post by Ivory on Jul 13, 2021 16:22:45 GMT -8
Ivory granted Rowan an impressed look. She doubted the decision came easily to the Snowskin. Rowan was showing real growth in admitting his need to get closer to the mundane.
"That's sweet of you!" she said, "How does that work specifically? Do you run a program with groups or?"
The Pale Dragon's face betrayed a look of interest. Charity work was her thing and Rowan's self-initiated community service was nice to see. Given the going ons of the Freehold as of late, she was more than happy to cling to brighter things.
"What? No..." Ivory offered her brow wrinkling with concern as Rowan assumed he was being made fun of.
Do you really believe we think so little of you?
"I said it might be better because horses are possessed of an honesty many people do not possess, as animals rarely deceive," she explained, "Once you get the feel for a horse you don't need to wonder where you stand with them and you can learn how to alleviate their discomfort. I presumed you would find their candor refreshing."
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Post by Rowan on Jul 13, 2021 21:41:24 GMT -8
"I only have one person. We hang out once a week for now, play board games and whatever. Volunteering. We're still getting to know each other." He was keeping things vague. It wasn't that he didn't trust these two specifically, it's just that you never knew who was listening in.
"Apollo Ath- oh. I see." He leaned in as Kai told him about Solomon and the horses. He nodded, as if it really was important information.
The two Changelings were being nice to him, and Mitch had told him that most who open up with kindness weren't there to bully him and shouldn't be considered as threats. Tapping his nose with one finger, he thought about it for a while. "I don't know the first thing about horses though. But I'm down to try, I guess."
This was something, right? Proof that under all that ice, there was still something human in him.
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Post by Kai Rose on Jul 15, 2021 9:53:27 GMT -8
"Volunteering? That's good of you, man." Kai flashed him a smile. "It's nice to see someone putting some good out into the world. There has been so much shit lately... I dunno. Volunteering and horseback riding sounds like a nice return to some degree of normalcy in this town. Come on by any day. We'll do an easy ride, get you used to it."
It was difficult not to mention Rowan's pending trial, but there wasn't much to be done there. Still, there was some degree of support to be offered. She glanced to Ivory briefly.
"How you holding up, man?"
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Ivory
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Pres 4 (Regal) - SL 1 (Noble) Fairest Hunterheart
Posts: 588
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Post by Ivory on Jul 15, 2021 20:55:21 GMT -8
"You're still working towards a greater good," Ivory offered, "I think everyone can benefit from a little individual attention now and then. It makes things more personal."
The Pale Dragon's smile widened a bit as Rowan agreed to consider it. It would be good for him.
"That's the beauty of it," she offered, "They don't know a thing about you either. You get to learn together."
Kai's gentle question did not require a further solicitation from Ivory, so the Pale Dragon remained silent, allowing the Darkling the time he would need to process the question and choose to answer or to rebuff, as was his right. Nonetheless, Ivory's expression spoke of an earnest concern. Rowan deserved support... and he would have it.
All he had to do was open himself and reach for them.
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Post by Rowan on Jul 16, 2021 7:28:17 GMT -8
His silence grew longer. Second after second, hours, years. For ever. It stretched, compressed, ebbed and waned like something alive. The clock turned backward, each tick an aeon. And then everything snapped back into its place.
Rowan couldn't find what to say. Rather, he had too much to say all at once. Pressure built up behind his eyes as he wrestled for order. "It all just seems surreal, you know. Like it's not happening for real. I'm dreaming, or imagining all of this. I mean- I know those things happened, I remember them. It's just. It's like they didn't happen to me."
"Sometimes I look at my hands, or my surroundings, or listen to what people say and there's no connection. It's just flesh, things, noise. It's like I'm not here."
Hey, they asked. He felt a dick. He was a dick really, stress testing people who were trying to show him kindness. Digging up the heavy stuff just to get a reaction.
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