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Post by Mitchell Carr on Jul 13, 2021 20:43:26 GMT -8
"It would be nice if we could just ignore the people we have to work with for the rest of our lives," he agrees with a small smirk, "But I guess we have to do lame Spring stuff like give people second chances or work out some sort of accord. That's not your problem right now, though."
He sat back in the chair, exhaling silently as the Chatelaine relented the old-school attitude towards mental health being a form of defeat.
"So what would help you right now?"
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Post by Deleted on Jul 13, 2021 22:15:51 GMT -8
“A time machine probably but from what I understand we’re still obsessed with going to the Moon.”
He chuckled softly, letting the joke break his own tenses to a degree, allowing him to shift in his seat to assume a more open posture, less aggressively defensive. He stopped and looked at the Bishop who sat across from him, asking what would help him right now. And in all seriousness he was stuck.
“A way to make it up to you, Mitch. I don’t think what led to everything ending up the way it did could be called defensible. And I am not in a position to do much more than reflect on what happened. But just paying lip service because Summer Nobility has a gun pointed at me - so to speak - doesn’t answer anything.”
“But if my own realizations are going to mean anything, and if I am going to keep my promises to try and be better. It needs to be real. I guess it comes down to that lame Spring idea of growing.”
His echo of the Bishop's own joke was used to stop the conversation from growing tense again, but as the barrier eroded and the Chatelaine opened up, his desire to mend their relationship seemed earnest.
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Post by Mitchell Carr on Jul 13, 2021 22:30:07 GMT -8
There was a long pause, Mitchell actually resting his chin in his hand as he seemed deep in thought.
"So- I'm actually really glad you reached out. Because I agree? I know Loki just being violent doesn't change much, and I'm hoping you're getting more friends and Knight on what we can pull from this situation."
Diamond split from his temple as his eye twitched, a few feathers trying to emerge before he smoothed to nothing. "Normally this is where I offer a Bishop's Pledge for community service in exchange for pulling out a problem...uh- weird Entitlement stuff- anyway that's not what you're asking. I'm just not used to being the one that's asking for the favours."
There was yet another long pause. Mitch wasn't sure how to articulate what was ultimately depersonalization, because he rarely reflected on it.
"I'm stuck. Legit." He laughed to cover up the blush, "I'm not upset. I barely thought about it since Beltane, actually? I guess how you make up for it is take care of yourself and the rest of the community in a healthy way. I just wanted to know why you were motivated and it just feels like you were scared, and felt like you were on your own with the politics."
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Post by Deleted on Jul 13, 2021 22:52:28 GMT -8
“Spiralling is probably the most accurate description. Every step towards anything that seemed meaningful and I only ever saw people step away, and that just makes it easy to seem self righteous in the heat of a moment. I also haven’t done a very good job when it comes to my peers."
“Agrippa and I seem to have lost the story somewhere along the lines. Likely stems from my poor ability to explain professional consequences and hamfisted attempts to keep the train on the tracks. Dealing with Ivory has been a disaster, and I thought that maybe just maybe we had come to a turning point - but there are just some actions I can’t abide by. It isn’t like I can do anything about it other than be upset, but I consider that a burning bridge that may be gone. Riley? First glance, yeah, we are close. Riley is my family but sometimes we are bad for another. It's easy to fall into the trap. Get got, get even - when you have just had something like this happen you are already red hot, and talking about burning everything down seems right. I just don’t want my problems to be what ends up causing them grief, they deserve better.”
He looked off the side as he became candid, indulging the Bishop’s question about his motivation.
“And don’t get me started about trying with those outside of Spring. The cons outweigh the pros.”
“It is like...trying to carry ice. The harder you try to hold it the harder it tries to slip away, and at the same time it is melting and dripping through your fingers. All sense of control begins to dissipate, the mess continues to grow, and you begin taking steps that are worse, and worse to try and clean it up. The only thing a mess will bring you is grief and pain.”
His eyes moved back to the Bishop’s as he let go of trying to deny what was in fact a mess.
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Post by Mitchell Carr on Jul 15, 2021 17:16:18 GMT -8
"You're supposed to like what you like and want what you want, Archie," Mitchell said evenly, "You don't need to be friends with every Changeling. I think what will help you more is just figuring out where the line is and detecting when you're about to cross it?" he cleared his throat, snapping his fingers a few times.
"When you can identify a trigger, you can start reworking how you react, or step away before you do something you can't really undo." Except for time powers—but if Archie had time powers Mitchell doubted they would be at this point. "You can't control other people's own issues. Honestly, it's really in our politics to accept that? Which it sounds like you are but from a place of helplessness over recognizing where your own power starts."
With the metaphor around impulses of the Fairest, he chuckles lightly as he shrugs his shoulders, "I don't hold things. It's more like...leading with the momentum, and knowing when to switch—or let go."
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Post by Deleted on Jul 19, 2021 19:12:47 GMT -8
“You're Not wrong. It makes sense. Right now it’s easier to reconcile what I am with who I play on the other side of the looking glass. I let my own expectations outgrow reality, and I should have really let sleep dogs lay. Probably best to take cues from the day to day show, and bring that to the parties. Besides, if you do something well, why abandon it, right?”
His eyes traced the desk. The wrong approach, the wrong goal, maybe it was the right ending - if something could be salvaged.
“I appreciate it, Mitch. Thank you.”
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Post by Krakenbox on Jul 19, 2021 22:20:35 GMT -8
Archie could rely on Mitch not spreading rumours about him. However, once he's had a moment to reflect and assess, it's easy for his professional mind to dismantle what just happened.
The Bishop had answered Archie's call, coming with the usual open heart he seemed to offer to everyone. In turn, Archie briefly mentioned that he acknowledged breaking trust, but didn't seem like he had the tools or ability to signal remorse other than the utter despair that he was being relentlessly bullied for just doing his best. Mitchell appeared triggered by this, shifting in nature for just a brief moment, and bringing attention to the Verdant Rule to try and help the other Fairest understand why this was all happening beyond a victim complex or abusive power dynamics. Hartman is not deep in the Wyrd, and is still as human as it gets by Changeling expectations, but Mitchell tried to point out basic occult concepts to help Archie understand what was going on with the fairy side of things, and attempting to appeal to logic.
Archie choosing to ignore understanding and remain stoic and to simply power through forced Mitchell to take on a mentorship and counselor position. The Dancer didn't seem to relax—snapping and clearing his throat with what appeared to be an obvious escalating tick—or become reassured that the exchange brought real empathy other than restore Archie's hope a little. He really did do everything in his power to extend empathy, which seemed to create a small breakthrough where Archie wanted to know how to really make it up to the Dancer. He had just received a snapshot of how much pressure the Bishops were under, and with clients like Loki and Fawkes, how much pressure Carr was under.
With being informed from spending so much time with Carr, and his Kith blessings of understanding needs, asking Mitchell for a transaction and/or penance wasn't going to work due to the man's own issues. He literally wears it on his mien now, with cracks and painful splitting. What would be a positive use of his powers—to prove learning—would be using Spring's magic to help Mitch achieve something that would recover his own sense of worth and agency, or even empathy to know why the other Fairest turned this "apology" into a therapy session that served to benefit Archie. This would be a proper political move to prove to an officer of his court—and subsequently other Freeholders—that he was changing.
Archie's connection with Spring is empowering his community and helping others achieve their full potential. Mitch is fracturing under the weight of the Freehold's mental health crisis, and all of their collective problems were affecting Spring as a whole. Without intervention and the community coming together, it was only going to get worse, and Archie had more power than he realized to make or break that fate with his vast resources most Changelings can only dream of.
So what was he going to do about it?
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