Riley Sorsa
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Presence (3) Captivating | SL(1) Stylish Mantle (2)Spring | Status(1) Entertainment
Posts: 913
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Post by Riley Sorsa on Apr 29, 2021 7:07:24 GMT -8
Kai seemed to take this so well. Like being shot was no big deal. Maybe it came with being a part of Iron spear.
"Right, yeah," Riley says, glancing to Kai. The moth was mad that Fire had been shot, scared, and upset. Something else was off. But what was quickly swept aside by Kai' suggestion of blaming the Shooter
The Darkling fidgeted at the thought, who was the Shooter? Why had it happened? Why were they hunting that beast? Riley's jaw clenched at the thought.
"If I ever find out who-" The thought trailed off. They'd do what? What could they do?
Hero. Firebringer had been a hero before, during the Revenant Crisis. Riley was only here because of what Fire did. Yet, if that meant jumping in front of guns for utter strangers. How? Who does that? Why? Would that person have done the same
It left a bitter taste in their mouth.
"It's alright, you're here," Riley said, squeezing Fire's hand, with a gentle smile.
"Nothing major to report on my end. The last few days have been waiting to see if you would recover. Oh uh...your cafe has been shut for a bit for repairs."
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Firebringer
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Elemental Ifrit, Presence 3 (Intimidating)
Posts: 634
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Post by Firebringer on May 2, 2021 11:09:41 GMT -8
Fire purses her lips, "It-," she looks down, "I don't remember what we decided about that person, but, it's, uh, complicated. More complicated than it should be." She lets out a slow sigh and thumbs over Riley's hand.
"I'm glad things have been average," though then her mind latches onto the coffee shop. Oh fuck. I'll bet I need to call. "I'll bet now that I'm fully up though, police will be by to take a statement about it. Urgh, well... it is what it is."
So, does that mean I'm only going to work one job for a bit? Maybe I should take off for a bit? Her mind goes a buzz with all of that. She isn't sure. Though, it isn't like she can't afford to take off for a month if she wants. She could go without work for a good half a year without much worry, given her lack of ultra spending. She just doesn't do much. Good thing she's always done such cheap apartment spaces - although, the one she currently lives in is far nicer than the last one she lived in.
Place should've been condemned. I think it was? Was it? The smell will never get out of the floors or walls, no matter how much they replace or paint.
She looks over at Kai then, "That's a decent size box. You hiding an emotional support cat in there?" Do I want a cat? That's a lot to take care of, especially when we could just not come back one day. That kind of hits her wrong. She could just not come back. That's the life of a Summer Lost though, isn't it?
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Post by Kai Rose on May 3, 2021 22:43:06 GMT -8
Kai let the emotionally charged pieces pass her by. It wasn't her moment, wasn't her business -- ultimately, this was theirs. Bluster about what one would do if one found the attacker was common in the Summer Court. If she found the shooter, they'd be in Solomon's chair, getting their point of view shifted for the greater good.
As the box was inquired after, she chuckled and offered it to Firebringer. "Totally. It's a tiger named Beans. Stole her from Icarus. Surprise."
Within the box was a thin layer of black Kevlar that could be worn under a shirt. It was in Danica's size and rough measurements. It wouldn't block a sniper rifle, but it would certainly take the edge off next time.
"I don't ever want to see you in here again, okay?"
Gentle.
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Riley Sorsa
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Presence (3) Captivating | SL(1) Stylish Mantle (2)Spring | Status(1) Entertainment
Posts: 913
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Post by Riley Sorsa on May 4, 2021 11:33:29 GMT -8
Their lip pulled into a light frown at the mention of the complication regarding the person that shot Firebringer. There was no complication in the Darkling's mind, someone shot Dani, and they should pay for that. But Riley didn't say anything, trying to let the stress of it all pass. Just to be here and support Dani if she needed.
The large gift box gave Riley a pang of guilt in their gut. They glanced down at the canvas bag for a moment. It wasn't a wrapped gift, just a bag full of books and manga for Dani. Glancing up at the mention of Beans.
Riley cracked a smile at the joke regarding the tiger that had earlier won the heart of Linden. The Moth shook their head and looked at Firebringer with a soft smile.
That's when Kai opened the box.
A Kevlar vest. The Darkling was dumbstruck. A swirl of emotions hit them. Who gives someone a bulletproof vest after they been shot? They could grasp some idea of the intention of the gift; Kai wanted to make sure Firebringer was safe. But the Spring courtier couldn't focus on that; they couldn't help but see it as a symbol that Kai expected Fire to jump back in front of a fucking gun.
"Really!? Fuck, Kai! She hasn't even recovered. And you're already preppin' her to get back into it? " The Bright one glanced at Firebringer than Kai.
They couldn't be the only one who thought this was messed up.
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Post by Kai Rose on May 4, 2021 14:40:35 GMT -8
She lowered her voice to make sure she wouldn't be heard by the mundane.
"God, no. That's between her and her season."
She shook her head slowly. Could Riley ever truly get it? Spring's role was different. Summer's was to be on the line when danger called.
"But I've seen a pattern of who she is when shit hits the fan, and it's someone who steps up when there is danger. It's a great thing. So giving her that... is a piece of what I can do to help, when I'm not there to step up with her. I'm sorry if it offends."
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Firebringer
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Elemental Ifrit, Presence 3 (Intimidating)
Posts: 634
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Post by Firebringer on May 4, 2021 21:22:52 GMT -8
For two seconds, Dani genuinely wondered if Kai had brought her a kitten. Why did that idea give her so much joy? Fuck. I need to go spend time at a humane society and pet the cats.
She smiles at Kai, "Oh, wow-" She pauses as Riley kind of bugs out a little bit. Wait... is that insensitive? Bugging out? She'd have to think about that one.
Riley's reaction isn't surprising, however. She is sitting in the hospital from severe gunshot wounds and Kai handing her some Kevlar. "I-" she tries to start, but she's too quiet. Kai says that quiet part out loud though. This is going to happen again, whether anyone likes it or not. Fire is always going to be the person to stand up and go in for the fight. If it means protecting others, that's what she'll do.
"I don't want this to happen again," she says finally, "I need to get quicker and I need to be on my shit." A glance to the armor, Fire smiles, "I appreciate it, Kai." Kai understands because Kai is a Summer like she is. Would Riley come to understand it, or would it be too much in the end? ...End? Oh hell no, we aren't thinking like that. Ever.
She looks up at Riley, finally, and says, "There's always going to be a battle, because safety is never a given. Safety often requires a fight, but I'm going to do everything I can to make sure I come back to you, Riles. I just want to protect us. What good comes from the things that happened to me and the skills I picked up if I can't use it to protect the ones I love and those who need it?" Is that enough? Is it ever enough? Thomas hated it. Hated her direct approaches because it got her into so much unnecessary danger. She can't change that about herself, though. It is a core part of her being.
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Riley Sorsa
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Presence (3) Captivating | SL(1) Stylish Mantle (2)Spring | Status(1) Entertainment
Posts: 913
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Post by Riley Sorsa on May 5, 2021 7:25:17 GMT -8
"Right, excuse me. Let me just go grab the shotgun; I got you; I have it wrapped somewhere!" Riley states, frustration coating each word.
"Don't you see how fucked that sounds?" The Wisp asks, looking between the two summer courtiers.
"Offend? It isn't about what offends me, Kai! It's about what this says! She wakes up, and the first thing she's getting this?! Am I the only one here who sees a problem with the message that sends?"
How was this the place for this? The consequences of one were not even over, and they were already thinking about the next battle. The pragmatism presented felt like the wrapping on the box, hiding the toxicity of it. It made it hard to argue without sounding impractical that shielding only frustrated the Darkling more.
"I don't want to see you hurt either, Dani. I get it. I know this is the thang y'all do. I ain't askin' for you to change. I-"
The darkling moved their eyes from Dani in the bed to Kai. Trying to get a read on what she thought about all this, understand why this was okay. It seemed plain that Kai had brought a gift out of care for Dani to see her not be harmed. It made Riley feel like shit to be mad at someone trying to show they care. Fighting Hobs and Fae was one thing, but getting gunned down by a machine gun? And acting like it's just another day on the job?!
"With everything going on. With the tensions-"
Summer is itching for a fight. Looking everywhere for the next battle, the next enemy. The freehold was on edge, and they were acting like this was normal. If there wasn't an enemy, they would make one.
"Don't get me wrong. I am glad you care, Kai. And I am sure I will be thankful that Dani will have this" They gesture to the kevlar. "When she needs it- but-" they looked back to Dani and squeezed her hand.
Symbols had power; the kevlar was that. It spoke volumes of value and focus. The stage had been set, and the first thing on it was this.
"You're more than a weapon, more than a spear that needs sharpening as soon as it's chipped. You're a warrior, and there needs to be more than another battle!" Their voice quivers with each passing word, trying to hold back getting to emotional and failing.
Calm down. You are hysterical. You are out of line. Stop being overdramatic; stop overreacting. Show some goddamn respect! She's a hero, is this how you support her?
Riley's internal thoughts raged against them; they sounded like her. They were an impetuous child; it brought guilt and shame.
"I am sorry. I am overreacting," Riley whispered, standing up from their seat. "I need some air; I am sorry. Sorry."
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Post by Kai Rose on May 5, 2021 9:47:36 GMT -8
Kai let the Darkling go off. Fear was fear, and here and now, it was valid. The Elemental was badly injured, and there was no question their relationship was far more than platonic at this point.
"It's okay."
She glanced to Firebringer, then back to Riley.
"You're right that there needs to be more. That's why people like you are so important... to remind your loved ones of what's at home and help them build something that is always worth coming home to. You're lucky to have one another."
Kai folded her hands on her lap.
"The message I am sending is that I care and want to prevent this from happening in the future. Anything else is in the eye of the beholder, but... I don't really do symbols, Riley. When you can't stop reading everyone's subtext, sometimes, plain Times New Roman is nice. I'll leave you to it?"
If her continued presence was desired, she would stay, but it seemed like there was Real Talk needing to be had that was best had in private.
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Firebringer
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Elemental Ifrit, Presence 3 (Intimidating)
Posts: 634
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Post by Firebringer on May 5, 2021 10:19:00 GMT -8
Fire sits there in a frozen state. This is something she is far from used to. She isn't used to being yelled... at? near? about? It doesn't so much make her shut down as much as it confuses her on what to do. She gets what Riley is saying and why they are upset, and she gets what Kai meant in her gift, but somehow things are still going to shit.
The thing is, she disagrees with Riley's assessment of herself. I know I'm not a weapon. My Keeper tried to make me feel that way, like a utility, something to hurt when needed. But I actively fight against that. My purpose isn't to kill, my purpose is to protect those who can't protect themselves. That might be in word, physicality, etc. Right? Is that how Riley thinks I see myself? Or is that how Riley thinks others perceive me?
She can't entirely decide which one it is, but Fire has never been the one to keep the quiet part quiet. There is also the understanding that this is very much a proper reaction from a Spring. More to life than a battle. They're right, of course, but the eternal battle doesn't care about what they all want. Surely they understand that it's the in between that is what matters, right? The in between.
"You're not overreacting. Your feelings and concerns are valid," That is true, even if it kind of hurts and is confusing.
She looks to Kai then and her response makes the most sense to her. It was the truth. At the very least, it is what Dani felt was the truth. Is that Summer bias? Yeah, probably. It was different being picked at by a Winter than by a Spring philosophically. Winter understands the sacrifice; Spring can view it, but can't really accept it. How is the cost worth it, right?
Nodding to Kai she says, "Just, thanks. I really appreciate you coming and the gift." And now she'll be left with needing to figure out how to make full sense of her partner. It is a reaction, not an overreaction. She just doesn't know how to help, how to reassure them.
You're thinking about them over yourself again?
"Riley, how do you think I see myself?"
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Riley Sorsa
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Presence (3) Captivating | SL(1) Stylish Mantle (2)Spring | Status(1) Entertainment
Posts: 913
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Post by Riley Sorsa on May 5, 2021 17:36:26 GMT -8
Neither of them saw the issue that Riley did; they addressed it calmly and logically. It made the Moth question their line of thought. How they had reacted made them feel a fool. As the polychromatic offered her explanation and made her way to exit, the Darkling shot a glance over.
“..Thanks, kai,” They offered, awkward and uncertain how to handle this moment that they had caused. Giving the summer courtier a simple nod before crossing the room to open a window. The Moth had planned to go on a walk, shake this off, refocus, calm down. But now that Kai was leaving, that felt wrong; they didn't want to leave Dani on her own. Not after how they just acted.
Fuck, I am an asshole. Why couldn't you just be happy, give her some books and just be here for her?
So Riley took a deep breath of the warm Las Vegas air, squinting into the brightness of the day. They raised a hand to shield their eyes as they leaned on their elbow, looking outside. Then Fire asked her question. It wasn't the question or statement the Twilight Dancer had expected. It caught them flat-footed and unprepared. They opened their mouth to respond then stopped, choosing to take a moment and think.
“How do you see yourself?” they repeated softly, looking over at Firebringer. The Darkling taking a moment just to observe the Elemental. The Moth, for a moment, worried it was a trap, some sort of trick question about what Riley thought of Dani. But looking at her there at the bed, Riley recognized Dani seemed serious, trying to connect with them.
“You think you're quirky and a nerd,” Riley said with a soft chuckle; it was an attempt at a joke to defuse the situation. “But that's not what your askin’ is it?” They frown a little, their knee bouncing slightly.
Does she really want to hear this? She deserves honesty; she almost died.
“I reckon you see yourself as a protector. You took your role as a sister, and it’s shaped yourself around that responsibility as part of your self-worth. You protect and stand up for the people ya care for, no matter what. Sometimes maybe more than they honestly deserve. And you are willin’ to put their well bein’ over your own, every time." The moth antennas flick as they run their hand through their silver hair, their black eyes fixed outside.
“I think your anxiety comes from, in part, that you feel you're not good enough like you're worried you're going to mess something up. I think you see your failures and sometimes forget to see your successes. “
They didn't like the question. Telling Dani what they thought her self-perception was felt off. It felt like telling not listening and made the Moths skin crawl. Their discomfort was shown in their tightened body posture.
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Firebringer
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Elemental Ifrit, Presence 3 (Intimidating)
Posts: 634
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Post by Firebringer on May 5, 2021 19:33:58 GMT -8
Fire watches Riley as they walk up to the window, looking out and breathing. She can imagine that they are beyond stressed, but she can't really get a read on them, so she has to just work with the simple context clues she has to work with that make logical sense.
She, herself, did not feel as though this was a stressful question. All she wanted was honesty so they could meet somewhere in the middle. Figure it out. As Riley stares at the outside, speaking on their point of view, what they believe Fire thinks of herself as. Every point they make is pretty close to the truth. So, then why do they think that she also thinks she's just a weapon to be sharpened and put to the next battle? Perhaps it is perspective on the outsiders?
Danica nods, looking up at the ceiling for a moment before looking back over at Riley, "That's part of it. The anxiety. And you're right that I have a hard time feeling good enough for just about anything. I have a hard time sometimes waking up when reality is wonderful, because I'm waiting for the crash and burn. I'm waiting to screw something up.
But, really, the thing I'm scared of most is being the monster I was made to be," Something she recognized in her training with Kai. This is sensitive. This is hard to share, but she wants Riley to have context. She wants someone to know who she is.
Rowan's voice echoing in her mind 'I don't even know who you are'.
If she does die, she doesn't want the second most important person to her right now to say the things that Rowan has. "It's something I actively fight against. The way I do that is by saying 'fuck you' to the Others and doing the opposite. Fighting is what I've always been good at. I've used it for survival and I've used it for stupid things. I'm supposed to hurt people. So, I choose to defy the intent. I worry that I'll fail at that one day."
She pauses to think about it before saying, "Hell, if things kept going how they were back before, I might have been shot up dead early in life. But I'm here now." There is beauty and there are bright sides in the horrible things that happened to us.
"So, if you know these things, why do you think I am being reduced to just a weapon? Uh- if these questions are too much, just... we don't have to do this. I just want to understand and I don't want there to be bitterness between us from not talking about these kinds of things. But I also know you wanted some air." The next time something like this happens, what will the response be? But it won't. She'll train harder. She'll be faster.
It certainly won't happen again if you're in a casket.
That little voice always seems to haunt her mind. Almost intrusive and yet so often it pokes truth at her.
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Riley Sorsa
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Presence (3) Captivating | SL(1) Stylish Mantle (2)Spring | Status(1) Entertainment
Posts: 913
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Post by Riley Sorsa on May 6, 2021 7:25:23 GMT -8
'I'm scared of most is being the monster I was made to be'
These words cut; the Moth hadn't considered that before. But, then again, Riley had no perception of what their Keeper had done. Vague feelings, strange dreams, all of it phantasmal. Was that the truth for Firebringer? Had she been made into a monster, or was that her own perception, trying to reconcile something? Riley didn't know, nor did it matter. It was clear that was what Firebringer knew.
"I- I didn't know that-" you think you're a monster.
"That's not what I meant when I said-" The feeling of being misunderstood stung. The Moth hated that; they hated when words failed.
Riley takes a moment, drawing in a deep breath. Trying to figure out how to explain it.
"My father and Uncle were in the military. They served in the gulf. " The Moth fidgets for a moment. "My father came back, mostly, was able to move on with his life. My Uncle, he came back and was so proud, stars and spangled proud. He fuckin' even wanted to sign up for the second one. He was a soldier, it was how he defined his existence."
The Darkling glances to Firebringer. " The thing was, he had been wounded, and he developed the Gulf war illness. It fucked him up bad; he couldn't build a life after that. Couldn't afford the bills or hold a simple job, but he was still a proud 'American veteran.'" They say in a mildly mocking tone.
They could smell the cigarettes', and beer stained clothes. The American flag shirts, and the veterans cap, and the jingle of his tags. The repetitive broken stories, the tremors in his hands.
" The government didn't give a fuck about what happened to him. Used him and spat him out, and he loved them for it."
They pause; they hadn't thought about their mortal family like this in a long time. Let alone talk about it.
"What I am tryin' to say is. When Kai came and gave you that Kevlar. It felt like she defined you as a soldier, not a person. That your value comes from how well you can fight and your ability to keep doing so. I know...that's not how it felt for you."
They shrug their shoulders, looking out the window again. Riley was not sure if they had explained it well, but they had given it a try.
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Post by Kai Rose on May 8, 2021 17:28:18 GMT -8
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Firebringer
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Elemental Ifrit, Presence 3 (Intimidating)
Posts: 634
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Post by Firebringer on May 9, 2021 10:37:56 GMT -8
Fire listens, nodding, putting together the pieces. She knew people like the one Riley described, their father. They hadn't really talked much about family beyond their siblings and it was difficult for Dani to even go there. It makes sense now, particularly with the military bent. They are the Iron Spear, after all. Militant all on their own.
"I think I get it." She says quietly. "And I'm sorry that happened to him, to you. That you had to deal with that." Fire isn't sure she's ready to talk about her own family yet. Hard to consider them family when they're the reason you had to become what you did.
Brings her mind back to young Talia for a short minute. It was so easy to convince her that nothing was wrong, but she suspects now that she was just putting on a brave face the whole time as they dealt with all of it. She had to. What would Nica have done otherwise?
"I can see how it could be taken that way. God, knock me over the head and drag me to Winter or something if I ever start to become like that." She tried to bring a little bit of levity while also being pretty serious. "I don't want you to ever have to go through that again with someone you care about. It's not right."
"It's weird though, thinking about personhood, you know? I know I'm people, but I don't always feel that way. Maybe that's why I'm so reckless sometimes; I don't entirely know. Wasn't like that this time. This time is was just pure... this is a person and they need help. If I don't help, they'll die or worse."
She pauses, smiling a little bit, "Still, I know that I'm more than my muscle. If that were all I was, I'd be confused as to why you like me so much." Something that Dani always tries to do is bring a little joy where there is some darkness.
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Riley Sorsa
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Presence (3) Captivating | SL(1) Stylish Mantle (2)Spring | Status(1) Entertainment
Posts: 913
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Post by Riley Sorsa on May 10, 2021 12:53:05 GMT -8
"noted, I'll borrow a bat from linden" They chuckle, taking a moment to indulge the levity. Riley moves across the room back to the chair near Dani. The Moth takes the Ifrit hand as she begins to express her feeling about personhood.
It was hard to hear, in some ways. That Dani had troubles imagining herself as a person. It would seem foreign if the Moth didn't understand the deep feeling of not being right, that you should be something else. It was indeed different, but there was empathy even if, in truth, the sensation was probably alien.
"Well, if you ever need a reminder of being People, I am here." They give a playful smile. But then paused to add. "But it's okay not to feel that way. Or even want to. And Kai wasn't wrong when she called you a hero." Please, just don't die like one.
"Your urge to protect and defend others is admirable. It's one of the things that attracted me to you in the first place. "
They sigh, trying to relax the tension in their body. The Darkling shuttered slightly, their antennae flicking in response.
"I think... that's what's got me so mad. Archie was shot, now you. We almost died in the desert...what happened to you and linden in the hedge. I - I feel powerless to protect the people I care about."
The feeling felt like bones in their stomach. Putrid and rotten. That everything the Darkling had made for themselves, could be taken un contested as easy as they day they were taken.
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